Sunday, June 26, 2011

Day 86; Down.

Day 86; Operation Deployment.

nearly every day for the past 86 days, something in my life has fallen to pieces.
about 96% of lifes bad things that can happen, have already happened.
and we're not even halfway through yet.
so, i regret to inform my blog readers that i will be taking a leave of absence. 
because the latest terrible thing is that, my laptop is down and i have no idea, no way, no money, or trasportation to get it fixed.
this upsets me and pissed me off greatly, because there won't be anymore photos or videos i can send to my husband of our son.
i'm not happy, whatsoever.

i am currently at an all time low in my life.
the only thing keeping my head about the water is my son, and the dreams of what MIGHT be when Mike comes home.
i no longer care to meet new people, have fun, make something of myself.
i am going to sit, just sit, until the end of October.
but don't worry, that's perfectly fine with me.
i am tired of waking up every morning, wondering what next could go wrong.
and by the end of the day, i always have something.
and though at times i have thought about and planned to leave my husband, i believe because he is gone, that i have such bad luck, he really is my lucky charm i guess.
i am just going to focus on other writings in my life.
and raise my son and wait on my husband to get on home and rescuse me from this bullshit and depressing life.
most know that i am a positive person, but there is no more positive to come. i can not keep plastering a damn smile on my face and bear everything thats happening.
i am still happy, i am just fucking fed up with life. but yet, i am still thankful to be alive. 
you don't need to worry about me, i'll be back just as soon as i can pick myself up from this slump.
for those people that rarely have a hard day in their lives, go fuck yourself.

anywho, i have facebook on my phone, and maybe i'll attempt a blog post here and there but other than that, that's all that i can do. trust me, I'm as disappointed as you are!
for the next 4 months I'm goingto sit and wait, write my stories, fall in love with my son and husband even more. anticipate Homecoming and getting ready for our Ball. plan Ryders first birthday party in Indiana, oh, and apparently we're going to be trying for number two, not too long from now! start crossing fingers now guys, i really want to meet my Lyvia Jean!

until next time, America.
don't go too crazy without me. :)

Kimberly Susannah Nelson.
and baby Michael Ryder!

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