Day 75; Operation Deployment.
i am very, very, VERY convinced that between my husband and the shitty people in his OLD life, i will have a permanent palm imprinted into my face by the time he comes home.
my husband, deleted his facebook last weekend. with the last little spat he realized, there's a lot he's been doing wrong, and that was one way that he could attempt to fix things here, while he is there.
he himself, deactivated it.
i said that in the last post.
not only did TWO people ask what i, ME, did to it, a third asked tonight.
i've held my tongue, i've kept my cool.
but you think I'm a bitch, i'll give you a fucking bitch!
where do you think you have the right to even SPEAK to my husband after what you did to him, ditching him, blowing him off, even LYING to him about coming out here?! you make up the excuse that it was ME that said they couldn't come, when i was the ONLY one pushing for it. i just re read my message you fat fuck. so why should my husband, whom i do EVERYTHING for, and always have, should share time talking to all of you, and talking to hi family. he has ONE day a week online, which he uses to now Skype his wife and son, and watch him grow the only way he can.
i am getting so fucking sick and tired of this shit, you're adding fuel to me fuckers, i've given you chance after chance, you're just making me tell Mike there is NO way any of you are in our new life. who do you think he's going to choose?
his old fucking life DIED on May 29th, the day not one of you were important enough to him to invite because he was convinced that you would ruined MY special day.
i have deleted ALL of you from my Facebook page and you're STILL going at it in some way or another. YOU are the problem, not me. i'm sitting here in OUR home, paying OUR bills, holding down OUR fort, what the fuck are you guys doing? talking to him about pointless shit, not giving a damn about the single most important person in his life?! what are YOU doing for him? what HAVE you done for him since I've been around, not a god damn thing.
oh, for fucks sake!
these people really ought to get a clue. i've tried to be nice, but that's over now. when even their own "friend" deletes his whole thing to alleviate issues with him and his wife, i'm still the blunt of it all. i know what my husband says, and i don't have much to worry about with THEM anymore when he comes back. it's just sad that they're "so close" with Mike, but dont know him wortha damn. if they did they'd know Mike isn't anyones bitch. doesn't matter who i am, if he didn't see any logic in it, or saw that it was wrong, he wouldn't do it. if he really cared about something THAT much, i wouldn't even push an issue. these people seem to think he's the same old kid he was back in the Summer of 09. they see him as a guy that isn't married, someone that doesn't have a kid who he hasn't even met yet, but he's Mikes entire world. his head is finally on straight, he's getting everything ready to come home to a family, and finally know the true meaning of Family. he isn't that immature little boy that fucks hoes and drinks booze anymore. we don't plan on coming back to Indiana for a loong time, and when we do, most of you people will more than likely be gone.
it's bad enough that i want to change my damned phone number to get rid of these people, i have to block certain albums on facebook so my pictures aren't stolen. now i just want NOTHING to do with any of them. not one. no ones getting it. i should have just left it all alone and stuck to the plan from the get go. but no, i had to give him and be nice and I'm STILL the fucking bitch.
Mike and i will never have the perfect marriage. i will never understand why he does half the things he does and he will more than likely not see what he does wrong, as wrong. but he trusts me, with EVERYTHING. when i was digging out my living will to fill out, i ran across Mikes. it brought tears to my eyes. Michael and i have only known one another for less than two years of our lives. we started dating and three months later he went to boot camp. he had ten days home, then was off again. the next time we saw each other, almost two months later, everyone got to him, he was dealing with enough, and he broke up with me. i went out to chase him and spent another weekend with him. the time after that, we were married. if you add up all those days, we have only known each other, face to face, less than 100 days before he put that ring on my finger. Mike wasn't desperate for a girl, he could have plenty of them. he never even wanted to get married, or start a family. but i changed all that. 2 months after we were married, i was pregnant with our son.
SO, in less than two years time we met, conquered Boot Camp, broke up, got married, conceived a baby, moved across the Country, had lots of fights, had even more little moments, kissed goodbye before a Deployment, i gave birth to our little boy. almost got divorced, but he proved me wrong, and we stayed together. in less than two years, he wrote out a living will, giving me everything he owned, giving me the power to run his life, and either end it, or keep him alive, given the choice. he trusts me, with his life. with all of that. he trusted me before Boot to not cheat on him, and be there for him. my letters kept him going. now, he trusts me to raise his child, run his house, handle all money and important matters, to send him care packages and letters, and be here when he gets back.
and Mikes my bitch right?
if these people, really called themselves his friends and family, they would know him a lot better than they do. they would understand that right now, while he is at war, isn't the time to sit and shot the shit about cars when time is limited. now isn't the time for him to spend his late nights calling everyone, to talk about nothing. he spend time calling his wife, to check on her, because she has no one out here. she is 2,200 miles away from her family. she's taking care of a newborn on her own, and he wants to know the latest cute thing he's doing. he calls to check in and let his wife now that he is safe and alive, knowing she will pass on the message to everyone else. he isn't going to lose sleep calling to talk to others about their jobs, their dogs, the latest hoe they screwed, the latest party. or hear people say something he doesn't want to hear, whatever lies they come up with. finally, finally, my husband is getting everything right.
now, if people had enough decency to respect that for once in their lives.
that they, are nothing anymore.
Ryder and I, we will always be, Everything.
i wonder how they feel about being replaced by a nine pound tiny human that giggles at the white ceiling, grunts when he's pooping, can't feed himself, and farts in his sleep.