Saturday, April 30, 2011

Day 29; One Month Down!

Day 29; Operation Deployment
Day 7; Baby Ryder.

what a month it has been, but i have survived it.
my husband has been gone for one month.
and i have gotten through the first week of mommyhood on my own.
not one of these things have been easy, by far.
but it has made us stronger, i am so thankful for that.
i don't get to hear from him as often as i'd like to.
but he emails me when he can and he;s SUPER sweet, he still makes my heart melt. 
i know that i can now tell him anything and everything, i feel so close to him. all past issues and heart aches and doubts are just POOF, gone now.
it's a great feeling.

Baby Ryder is doing well.
he is back up to his birth weight, he's a huge mommys boy and LOVES to snuggle. he wakes up on a 1am, 5am, 9am, feeding schedule, so i get some sleep at night.
he skyped with daddy and now ever since, he smiles in his sleep.
he's wide awake and alert all the time and his eyes are beginning to lighten to a light blue color, and his hair is fading slowly into blonde.he grows and changes every single day. 
it's been a tough week, getting to know his quirks, getting onto somewhat of a routine, dealing with all emotional aspects.
but, we're handling it the best that we can, just of course, wishing daddy was here to share in the joy!

I am doing good as well.
my glue is starting to come off my incision.
i have a little bit more energy and can get through the day wtihout pain medication, most days.
i have lost 20 baby pounds, and have about 15 to go until i am back to pre pregnancy weight.
i can fit back into my old jeans, which is a good feeling. :)
sadly, Ryder seems rather interested in my breast milk now, and i believe i am already beginning to lose it.
he latched well in the beginning but then stopped. it became a huge mess of him and me. 
and though it breaks my heart because i actually wanted to TRY, i think i'm just going to switch to bottle feeding from now on, avoid stress of myself and himself as well.
i am very much enjoying mommyhood.
i have learned A LOT of patience with my son, and have lost all patience with other people.
i have grown up, and realized a lot.
all because of a perfect little 7 pound, 7 ounce package.
he really does mean everything to me.

babe, stay safe out there.
i know things are starting to get crazy.
and the lack of communication frustrates us both.
but always remember that we're under the same sky.
and we're never that far away from one another.

look down at your chest.
and a little to the left.
that's where i'll always be. <3

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