Sunday, May 29, 2011

Day 59; One Year Ago.

Day 59; Operation Deployment.

One year ago today, i awoke from my bed, in my house, in Indiana.
the last morning as a single woman.
i had all my bags packed and in my truck, and i was headed to the Chicago O'Hare Airport to pick up the man that would, that very day, become my husband.
i paid the tolls, i parked in the parking garage, over an hour early [can you tell i was stoked?!]
and waited, the one thing i would have to learn to do.
i got the text that his plane had landed and he was on his way to me. i waited at the bottom of the escalator and bam, there he was. the most handsome man, ever.
and in a few hours, we'd make things official!
we held hands as we walked back to the truck, i handed over my keys, we loaded up, and off we went.
i knew this was going to be the best weekend of my life.

no one on his side knew he was in Indiana. no one even knew we were getting married that day. that's what made the adventure up to new buffalo even more fun. seeing as we drove straight through Hammond. i asked him if this bothered him, driving through his own city and not stopping to see anyone and he told me no. he was here to marry me, not to visit them. we even stopped at our secluded spot and uh.. made.. sandwiches? which, i got a battle wound from. the lever to put the drivers seat back, kinda dug into my leg. while i was.. uh... reaching for the, mayonnaise? yea, that works. :D
the drive up to Michigan was more than likely one of the best times of my life. here we were, two young lovers, going to get married. in my old beat up pickup truck, we talked about our future together. our babies, where we wanted to live. our hopes and goals and dreams. he had one hand on the wheel and the other on my heart. i was in love with him even more.
the whole 5 hour drive, neither one of us stopped smiling.

We stayed at the firefly resort for the weekend, in a little one bedroom cottage with a fireplace and everything. it was, perfect. finally, our first little get away where we didn't have to deal with anyone else. we set out bags down and.. made more sandwiches! bahaha. while he showered and i began to get ready before guests started arriving.
my mommy and daddy got there first, my mom was basically already in tears.
my family started coming, Tim with beer in his hand for our toast. all the Paterson men in either a striped shirt, or a solid one. all the Paterson women looking amazing. 
Monica did my hair as Aunt Cathy laughed at mike for ironing even his cover.
we got dressed in the same room because it didn't matter to us about "not seeing the bride until shes walking down the alter" and my mommy gave me our Precious Moments Wedding figurine. 
Mike went outside to get ready and i walked out with my mom and dad, after my sister and Tim signed our marriage license as the witnesses.
this, was it.

i wore a crown because i was always Michaels princess.
i wore my pretty white satin summer dress.
an i held my mama's hand, and linked my arm with my daddy's.
as Grace and Drew walked in front of us, to the man of my dreams.
my daddy placed my hand in Michael's.
as my mama started crying.
we looked into each others eyes and the way we saw it, even if no one else believe we were right for one another. we knew we would never be right for anyone else.
we said our vows and when he went to kiss me, our first as husband and wife, he took his cover off. 
it was the best kiss of my life. :)

we took about a million and four pictures. towards the end my aunts and cousins had to make sex jokes so Mike wouldn't have such a forced smile, lmao. we had to look at about, six different cameras. Mike had never been in a situation like that. but my family, EVERY moment is documented.
after we shared our toast, with beer or course, and smashed cake into one another face. and slow danced to "Then" by Brad Paisley, the inevitable happened.
before we even changed out of our wedding attire, we updated our facebook statuses to let the entire world know.
heading out to dinner with my entire family, the phone calls started. and no one was even remotely happy for the two of us.
they, of course, blamed it all on me.
there was, a lot of yelling. and a lot of mike ignoring his constant ringing phone.
the deed was done. he wanted it this way. he knew not many would support him. and if he told people before hand, that someone would ruin things for him. and he owed it to me, for our special moment, NOT to be ruined like it always was.
i had every opportunity to tell his friends and family. but i didn't. i had to respect my future husbands wishes. why would i go behind him to tell people i didn't like anyway? he is capable of making choices on his own, ot everything is my doing.
but i digress.

that weekend, was so amazing. just him and i.
we went to our resorts private beach to swim. we walked the dunes of New Buffalo. we watched the sunset at the Michigan City Lighthouse. 
we were uh, full, from all the sandwhich making we were doing.
and we just enjoyed each others company.
honestly, looking back, that weekend was the best i ever had with him. i will never forget a single moment of it. 
the next day it was time to pack up and head back to the airport. after talking to his mom, we decided to stop by there for an hour on the way back. i, was honestly nervous. lol.
when we walked in, it was quiet. his mom pointed at me, like she was going to place blame and for the first time, mom stepped in front of me, telling her that it was his choice, not mine. i had nothing to do with it.
all his friends heard he was in Hammond so they came by too. all standing in the kitchen, i felt invisible. but for once, that didn't bother me. i had what i deserved. and they could never ever change that, as hard as they had tried before. it was them that got treated wrong like i had so many, many times before.
and before i knew it, it was finally time to leave.
 i got a visitors pass so that i could sit with him in the terminal. i was worried we were going to be late and we ran through security.
well it turns out, his flight was delayed a few hours. knowing he had to be back in Jacksonville at a certain time, we stood in a 3 hour long line to try to get things changed. 
i enjoyed the extra time, lol. 
but then it was time for him to go. we hugged and kissed goodbye and i walked to the window, holding his goodbye letter from him, and watched him look for me, thinking i had already left. but i just wanted another kiss when he handed his ticket off.
when i could no longer see him, with a heavy heart, i walked back to the truck. i read his letter, wiped my tears, and drove home. the home that would no longer be, soon enough.

this year, has been one of the best, the most joyous, and the most difficult of my life. we have had good moments, better moments, and the worst of moments. there were many times where i thought we weren't going to make it. there are some things ive said that i'd like to take back. there's some things he's done that he'd like to take back. regardless of it all, we did make it.
one year down and Forever Forever to go.
Loved You Once.
Love You Still.
Always Have.
Always Will.

May 29th, 2010. <3

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