Friday, May 27, 2011

Day 57; all banged up

 Operation Deployment; 8 Weeks Down!

Day 57; Operation Deployment.
Day 36; Baby Ryder.

this ^^^  is my amazing one year wedding anniversary box that i mailed to my husband in Afghanistan. Our Anniversary is in TWO days.
and this morning i woke up and hey! it's found it's way back to my doorstep.
i was, super stoked. i SWEAR, that's my husbands handwriting. or someone chopped off his hand and re wrote it. and i know he's sent me a box from Afghanistan. so i figured, boxes were short, he just retaped it all, slapped a label on it, and sent it back.
but when i opened it, it was all the stuff i had sent him almost three weeks ago.
what the hell?
it had no "return to sender" it still had to form to Mike on the bottom of it. there was no reason for it to be sent back. and as i said, did it make it there and get sent back? i know Mike didn't send it back without opening it. was there some mix up with his box going on and this one coming him?
needless to say i was pretty ticked off. here i was, trying to rush and get it to him in time, knowing it'd be a few days late. but now it's going to be a few WEEKS late.
are you kidding me?
i went to mail another box from the place on base i always do, and asked them what the hell was up. even THEY couldn't begin to explain it to me.
all i know is now, my husband will get our anniversary box a month after our anniversary, and it was already beat up, so it's going to be DOUBLY beat up by the time it gets there.
thank god the inside was lined in boxer briefs, lmao.
they resent it for free, and i shipped out my other box.
so, I'm hoping that it makes it to him!

I love how connected Mike and i are.
the night before last i had a dream about him over there that made me pretty nervous. and since communication is down, i don't hear from him during the week. it's very rare that i worry about his safety. i think he has a better chance to smashing his face with a wrench than actual combat. but this dream, among my many other weird dreams this week, stuck with me. so i sent him an email, telling him that i couldn't wait to hear from him, that i needed to, because i was nervous.
and this morning he calls me.
he never got online.
because he had been thinking about me all day, and something told him he needed to call me, to hear his wifes voice. i just thought that was amazing. that he had that feeling, even though he had no idea what was going on, or anything about my dream.
it made me feel good, made my heart melt. i was so happy.
we had a half hour phone call. it was all i needed, it made my day, quite honestly.

i have noticed how i live for him coming home. care packages are what get me through weeks of all this. and planning for homecoming and even beginning projects, so I'm not crammed for time right before he gets home, is what i live for now. 
though, i'm going to clean my whole house this weekend. and get on track and begin a schedule on Monday and stick by it. makes days go by faster. especially when we sleep until noon, lol!

and i love our little boy. he's starting to smile when he's awake now, a happy little baby. and it breaks my heart that mike can't be here to see it all. it gets a little bit tougher everyday. Ryder is growing a personality, he's awake more, we bond more. he's my best friend, we do everything together and i couldnt imagine my life without him right now. he reminds me more and more of Michael every single day and reminds me of how lucky i am to have these two wonderful boys in my life, for now and forever. he honestly makes me fall more and more in love with not just him, but his daddy, every day. he's soooo handsome. sometimes i just stare at him, and feel my eyes well up with tears. my tiny little baby boy. the best gift Mike has ever given me. he has made our little family so incredibly strong in such a difficult time. such a small being, has made the biggest of differences in our little world.

I love my boys.

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