Day Three; Memories.

Today is the first Sunday down of this Deployment.
looking through old videos, i remember i uploaded this to YouTube.
i made this when he was in Boot Camp, in November, 2009.
we had been dating for 3 months.
this honestly brought me to tears.
we were so young it seems, never really having dealt with much in life. we were carefree and careless.
never had i imagined all those motorcycle rides, days at the skate parks, silly little moments, inside jokes, and showers, would ever lead us to where we are right now. the greatest thing to ever happen to me. the absolute love of my life. my husband, the man I'm about to have a baby boy with. it's amazing, how quickly things change. how time moves so fast. and you realize a lot more than you did yesterday.
he's amazing, though he tends to mess up a lot, and he hurts me sometimes, and i want to KILL him half the time. but I'd kill FOR him, any day of the week.
he's learning how to be a better husband, how to be a daddy for the first time. and no longer am i terrified for his homecoming and what that means for the three of us, knowing nothing will ever be the same.
it scares me a little bit but i know he will be such an amazing husband, and he will be a better man, having Ryder in his life.

i got to talk to him today, it made my heart melt when i got his message on Facebook.
and it made me smile even more when i realized he hadn't updated a post, or commented to anyone else, it seems he only talked to me.
it made me sad that the airplane food made his tummy upset. and that he felt bad about not contacting me last night but his laptop had died.
he called me beautiful, told me he loved me a million times, and it just felt so, incredibly amazing.
he's so far away, in a country where it's freezing balls ad it's snowing, where I'm sitting here in the warm Cali sunshine.
that it was about 7 pm here, and 730 am there.
we're half a world away. i miss his heartbeat.
i hate that it took all this fighting, and this leaving, for me to realize how much i loved and needed him. he's my entire world, good, bad, and the ugly.
and i can NOT wait to kiss him all over again.

Come On November!