Day Nine; little help from my friends.

Day Nine; Operation Deployment.

today was possibly one of the best day since Mike left.

i slept most of the day as usual, and played the Sims for a little bit.

i got pissed off and irritated with mikes so called friends and i really just wish theyd fall off  the face of the earth and i can't believe theyre STILL at this shit, a year and a half later. why would you sit there and claim he's your boy but proceed to piss his wife off EVERY time he leaves? when this time is even more stressful than the last? 

and that finalized my decision, even his mom, to not let any of them into my sons life. 

thats my choice but this stuff is still happening. with his sister a few weeks ago, with his friends now. 

how rude and disrespectful they are, no, I'm not having it. 

so, until at least November, they won't have anything to do with Ryder.

around dinner time, my friend Lauren calls me.

Lauren and i use to work at PSC together and i have always looked up to her. i would always go to her for advice, she was always there for me, never judging, always helpful.

she called to check in on me, though she joked because she knew i didn't want to be checked up on, but she couldn't help herself, she was worried.

and i was honest, i'm doing alright.  ups and downs.

we talked about babies, she just had little Logan about 3 months ago.

she tried preparing me the best she could. 

and she told me, how strong i was. how she couldn't do what i've been doing, or what I'm about to do.

and how proud of me she was of me.

and it honestly melted my heart. just to hear that from her, the one I've always looked up to, meant so incredibly much to me. Josh, another PSC squad member, also said i was one of the strongest people he knows. 

and even though i don't feel strong, at all, mostly ever.

hearing that from people I've always looked up to, and leaned on, means so, so much.

Lisette, Monique, and I went and saw Hall Pass last night on base at Midnight. 

not gonna lie, it was one hilarious movie.

we just thought it was funny because our husbands just left.

and as comic as the movie was, it kind of made me think and miss Mike even more.

just thinking about the future, who we have become as a couple, broke my heart. and i wanted him next to me.

we went back to their casa and stayed up until 5 in the morning talking about the guys, where they are, our marriages, the goods, the bads. how they're doing over there, and our issues with this Deployment.

it was really nice to have someone going through the EXACT same thing. 

and it made me realize that no matter who we are, where we've came from, weve all been through similar things, we're all alot alike.

and i am so thankful that theyre in my life and they stayed in 29, because i think i wouldnt be doing as well without them. 

i checked my mail coming home at 5 am, and there was a little card from my mommy, thinking of you. 

it's just the little things like that, that keep me going. and make me smile. =]