Day Ten; Cleaning Out Life.

Day Ten; Operation Deployment.

day ten.

like the ten days after boot leave where we realized how much we loved on another and were going to make this work no matter what.

like the ten days left until I'm due to have my son.

ten days since my husband left.

and the second Sunday down.

so that means, letter time. <3

more so a boring uneventful day. i cleaned the bedroom, finally. and that was really hard. moving all his stuff. his clothes. it was HIS mess and i got to pick it all up.

thanks babe.

and i cleaned up Ry's nursery so now everything is good and ready.

after my nap i called my mom and told her i wanted sghetti, but she convinced me to get a papa johns pizza instead. so i did. it makes me sad because that was Mike and I's thing, as well as my mom and I's thing.

and here i was sitting here eating a large pizza by myself.

until i was summoned over to Lisettes house to watch a comedy with the girls, and then Coming Home.

i decided to clear out some people from my life and really, it feels amazing.

after the little spat with Mikes old friend yesterday, and then seeing Heather "like" the comment on Facebook, i decided that i had had enough.

i realized that i had to cut ties with every single person in Mikes former life, attatched to that group.

Heather, Stephanie, and Mindy got deleted. although they have never done much to me personally, Heather hangs out with some of the guys, Stephanie is her sister, and Mindy, same thing, hangs out with Heather. it kind of bothered me because i felt rude, but i knew it had to be done.

they use to be Mikes friends, so why should it matter if they were mine or not?

also, for awhile now, I've felt Heather has had a "thing" for my husband.

though i know she'd never advance at it.

they'd skype, text often, she was planning to come out here, and all our conversations were about him.

so i figured the only reason she was my friend was to get updates on him, and his flesh and blood.

it kind of sucks because we use to talk alot, but after mike left that stopped. it bugged me when she commented on his Skype picture how much she missed him.

when they don't know each other well and they haven't seen each other in a long time. that to me just, was inappropriate, call me selfish.

i also take pride in being the only one knowing updates on my Husband.

during boot camp, me and everyone else knew the same things basically at the same time.

now, i know it all. i get phone calls and skypes and facebook IMs and messages.

not many others do, and if they do get an email, it's short.

i suppose, like our son, it's something i hold dear to me.

i have no reason to keep people informed. i did that during boot camp and i didn't get any more respect for it. so why even bother to continue trying?

and why should i risk his friends knowing anything about my son through the grapevine?

so, they've all been deleted and can't see anything but my profile picture. and if i decide to put one up of my son, i might just end up blocking everyone so I'm invisible.

that's just the way it has to be sometimes.

at the end of the night i found out a friend of mine from my hometown, is also in Twentynine Palms for Comm School for the next year. i thought that was pretty cool. like Michelle and Derek, we're from small towns, and yet we end up in the same places.

I'm going to go write my husband a cute little snail mail letter that he will more than likely get 3 weeks from now. i love and miss him so much. =]