Day Four; Little Bit Stronger.

Day Four; Operation Deployment.

today is Monday.

i gave myself the weekend to be mopey and not do much, knowing today i'd have to pick up some of the pieces and start all of this.

i did end up waking up at noon still, not feeling well.

i swear i woke up to a contraction earlier but then i fell back to sleep, lol.

i called JCPenney's about my contacts.

i paid the cable bill.

i went to the library to return and check out a few books.

i lysoled the couches and got them clean.

and finished the dishes.

i called and ordered the military kit boxes so that i can send him his care packages.

and i actually cooked myself dinner rather than going out, and it made me sad because he wasn't here to finish what i didn't eat like he always does.

i watched a few episodes of The Bachelor on Hulu, ate some popcorn, which also made me sad.

but i did it, i did SOMETHING, it exhausted me, and he was always on my mind.

i didn't feel all that well, but i pushed through and actually got something done.

and i left the house, that's a big thing. i keep telling myself that i need to continue to get out of the house and as long as i do that, even if it's just for half an hour a day, then i can get by.

i didn't get to hear from him today and there wasn't much updates on Facebook from his crew.

it doesn't bother me right now that we don't talk.

i know he's saving his phone card minutes and his laptop battery for when i go into labor so he can attempt to be by my side, from a completely different country.

it's still really hard, i havent broken down and cried, i'm just numb, i can admit that.

i just can't wait to hear from him, i love him so much.

in the mean time, I'm thinking of cute little things to send him while he's over there.

to make him feel like there's a little bit of home wherever he is.

that's, i think, the fight in me. making sure he's okay, doing things for him, sending him letters and care packages, making sure he knows he's loved above all else, and missed so incredibly much.

i already have ideas for homecoming, yeah, I'm jumpin the gun.

but how can i not?

I'm sooo excited to be a family, i have a ton planned for the three of us.

it's just one day closer.

stay safe and come home soon baby.