Day 93; Operation Deployment.
Happy 24th Birthday Michael Patrick! :D
i am glad that i stay up late becaus around 2 am, MSgt Rosson uploaded the most gorgeous picture of my husband to the CLB7 site, to wish him a very happy birthday. when i saw this picture, i started crying. i don't know what it was. he looked different, but the same, so close, but so far away. he's so tan and skinny, he looks so mature. it melted my heart to see his face, those beautiful blue eyes, his mouth slightly open so you could see that crooked little right tooth, and his eyebrow was arched in the sexiest way. ::sighs:: i love you babe.
he called me this morning and i was glad i got to talk to him and wish him a happy birthday. he said it went alright. he had fun on a convoy and they were all singing Taylor Swift songs there and back. i'm just glad they made it back safe inside the wire. it alreayd makes me nervous when he leaves it. though, he's a smart man and never tells me before hand, or i'll be worried all day. but whenever he says "yeah, just got back in the wire" i'm like wow babe, really? but he knows me too well, and knows i have enough to think about and get done during the day.
so, last night, i totally syked myself out. i've been redoing the house a lot lately and i finally, almost have our bedroom done. i'm starting on Homecoming projects around the house, and making his halfway box. and i just started like, jumping up and down. all this stuff makes me feel like he's coming home a lot sooner than he is. i mean, it's not THAT far away now, but still. the house is almost all ready for him to come home to, he just needs to hurry up and get here. it's starting to feel SO much more like home now, and that helps and hurts me all at the same time. but it really excites me how nicely things are coming together. nothing will be the same when he walks in the door and we can finall start over. start our lives. just the three of us.
everyday, i fall more and more in love with Ryder. i just can't explain it. today we took a nap and my alarm went off. i woke up t him gently patting my face like "mommy, time to get up" and when i opened my eyes, he was laying in my arms just smiling at me. he does so good when i run errands, like Walmart. he fussed a little bit, i held him for a few minutes and put him back in his carseat and he was fine. he keeps me company, and he lets me know that i am needed and loved. everyday i love watching him grow and change in one way or another. i never felt a feeling like this and i know being a Mommy is the best damn thing ever. not to mention, he's one of the most adorable babies i have ever seen. he has helped me so, incredibly much throughout this Deployment, i don't know where i would be without him right now. funny how my life lies in the hands of a 10 pound baby boy.
it's been about, three weeks, almost a month, since anything went wrong with Michael and i. there was almost a big mess, but he called after work and corrected himself because he knew he was in the wrong. finally, he understands! lol. i am shocked and impressed all the same. and i know that this really is the beginning of a new life for the two of us. the way he's changed already amazes me and i am so, so proud of him. even though this Deployment sucks and it was really rough in the beginning, i believe now, it's saving our marriage.
i see so much of Michael, in Ryder.
i can't wait to have my family all back together again.
Come Home Soon.
Stay Safe, and No Guppie Guts.
always, always.
happy birthday in Afghanistan!
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