Day 70; Operation Deployment.
ten weeks down means about one third of this is OVER!
and by god, it's been rough. so I'm hoping the rest of all this goes smoothly!
come on baby.
I went to the OBGYN today to get on the Mirena.
though Michael already says he wants another one and doesn't mind risking it when he gets home, i've chosen to put a stop to that really fast. lol!
IF things between us get better and fixed then i would like to try again when he's been home for 7 months. that gives him time to make up with Ryder, Ryder will be 14 months, plus nine months to brew baby number two. we'd be good to go. :)
i swear, every time i go to the Naval Hospital to get my vagina checked, i have the most random hilarious conversations.
at my six week check up, Commander Ressetter and i sat there and counted how many people had actually seen my private areas during labor and delivery. 7. 7 different people. and then when she informed me that my uterus was tilted backwards, we sat there and discussed what sexual positions hurt and don't hurt with it tilted. we ended with "no more doggie style for daddy!" bahaha!
Eppey tops it all. right before my C Section he told me he was going to sew me up 90210 style. what the HELL does that mean? haha. afterwards, he asked me what i did during pregnancy because i had some of the strongest ab muscles he had seen. and was trying to convince me to make a preggo workout video. if i did that, i'd be showing people how to sit on their butts and eat. lmao! then today, while he was putting in my Mirena he tells me, "your insides are so, like.. compact." i look down and start laughing. that you for telling me i had a small vagina, i suppose that's a compliment. he ended up pinching my uterus and made me bleed. so he went back in to check things out and said my insides looked good, so he didn't mind. who IS this guy? and i wonder if he's married, or how he picks up girls. what's his pick up line? "i'd like to check if your insides are compact." seriously, it brightened my mood in a very weird way!
then i went to visit Amanda and Finn. :)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMANDA!
it was so nice talking to her, i love how we think and act the same on some things!
and Michaels birthday Care Package is en route to Afghanistan.
i came home and started on my house for the weekend. for once, i've actually spent all day downstairs. its beginning to feel as much like home as it can without Mike. i honestly can't wait until he gets back. even though we're not on the best of terms, it's going to be nice to have his help and watch him play with our son. btw, he called me today. :) i still get that super excited feeling when i hear his ringtone. though i didnt expect him to call so for a few seconds i was worried. but he was just calling to see how i was doing because he knew i was feeling bad this week about everything. made me smile. and im glad he thought of me. we talked for a little while and it made me sad that now that he's deleted his facebook, he wont be able to see many pictures of Ryder, so when he gets online tomorrow i'm going to give him my login info and we can share a facebook for right now. i really do miss him.
i have decided that all this, i hope, as long as from here until he gets home, if he doesn't mess up again, that things might work out between us. he has a lot of things to make up for. and my heart is still broken. but who says i can't still love him with every piece of my broken heart? it's just.. loving him in little tiny pieces. that works right?
now, as my little boy lays asleep in my arms, i have to at least be thankful. for him, for Mike, who will always be around, no matter what. and my friends. i am beginning to love my home, and the thing that will fix it all, is of course, having our King walk in the door. <3
oh, and to the people that like to stalk my blog and give us the reason it's "to check on the baby"
screw yourselves. honestly.
you shall never meet my child. i'll make sure of it.
and if you haven't noticed, i rarely post about my darling son.
so you can go be a creep elsewhere!
you're out of all our lives. :)
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