Day 47; a Little Catch Up.

plus a few days.

dAY 47; Operation Deployment.

Day 24; Baby Ryder.

So, basically everything that COULD go wrong this week, DID.

including the shutting off of my internet and cable.

so, here i am, back again. I'm sorry for disappointing you. :)

Sunday was my first Mommies Day with my beautiful baby boy. 

Saturday i was sent beautiful flowers from my husband in Afghanistan, with a card reading

"Happy First Mommies Day, I promise to come home safe and soon."

then Monique and i went to lunch, Chinese! and just relaxed around the house for the rest of the day.

And Monday slapped me in the face.

I woke up, after bringing the dogs inside in the cage because the Cement people were coming, with a VERY cranky baby.

i smell something and i go downstairs and one of them, had shit in the cage. so my entire house smelled like dog crap, my child was screaming his head off, and i had things to do.

I was upset with Mike for failing to give me the correct information i needed for his LES statement for WIC.

i went there and thankfully, i have 30 days to bring it to them.

Ryder was screaming while i juggled paperwork, and then he spit up all over the both of us.

the place was packed and smelled of mixtures of sweat, baby shit, and.. something i couldnt even put a name to. and of course, no one watches their kids so they're running around, screaming, then staring at MY screaming baby. i don't like being stared at..

thankfully, they decided to switch us to the Gentlease formula [which i have to say made the WORLD of difference.]

then we had his doctors appointment, which we were almost late for because my 1 o clock WIC appointment turned into 2 o clock, and Ryders drs appointment was at 1420. and then i had to run a fucking marathon because only the quarterdeck was open.

 again, he was screaming. so they couldn't get his heartbeats, or check his lungs, or his eyes. or, really anything for that matter.

and by that point, i had a Migraine the size of America.

all i wanted to do was take a nap.

i ran to McDonalds to get some fuel in my system because it was almost 4 o clock and i had yet to eat anything because i had to hold my small child all morning before we went because that was the only way he would calm down.

i got an ice cream cone with my food.

they handed that to me first, then my soda.

and there goes the top of my cone, right onto the lid of my soda.

i was just, done already today.

i get home to let the dogs out because i think the cement was dry, and there was MORE shit.

and not only in the cage, but they were LAYING in it.

are you kidding me?!

that was only the first time i swore at the stupid cement people.

but, i left them that way before i went insane, and i took a nap.

i woke up to, DRAMA. who would have thought?

I'm not going to sit here and trash talk this, immature little brat.

i know you all can figure out your own opinions and use your own comments.

but basically, one of Michaels little friends was running her mouth again, yes, a she.

when i had deleted her off my facebook, hadn't talked to her in a few months, hadnt said ONE word about her, she still, after almost 2 years and Mike and i being together, continously has something bad to say about me. 

the conversation ended in her telling me i was a pathetic person, a controlling shitty wife, and already, a terrible mother. and that she couldn't wait for the day that i died.

that was it, i had enough. i was NOT going to stand for this constant bullshit.

i was not going to have these people in my life any longer, and therefore, Mike had to rid his own life of them as well. by him keeping these people around, brings drama. 

so, i emailed him and i told him he needed to make a choice, all of them, or Ryder and I. because it had gone on for way, way too long. if i just packed up my stuff and left, i'd never have to deal with any of that ever again.

so, that hung over my head all week as i waited for him to get online and read that, and i was terrified that it would cause a huge fight between us, he wouldn't delete them from his facebook and stop talking to them, and then.. it would have put a giant wedge between all of us.

i had to have Monique come over later that night because Ryder was screaming and i, just really needed a break.

i drank a nice little wine cooler before i tackled cleaning the dogs.

i then covered them both in dog shampoo, still in the cage, and just hosed it all down.

i let them dry off a little then let them out to go potty.

about 10 minutes later i realized, i forgot to relatch the gate that the cement guys failed to do earlier.

son of a bitch.

so, my dogs got out.

i let Ryder with Monique and i drove around the complex calling for them.

i was so, so, so completely over today. i was pissed at the world.

i gave up trying to find them after about 15 minutes and just went home and dealt with it. telling myself i would call animal control for Indy in the morning.

Holly, was a whole other story.

my cable and internet was shut off on Tuesday.

just like every other week since i paid the bill.

i guess, the bill that has been coming to the house, and the one i've been paying, was the wrong bill.

and they tried telling me i couldn't do anything over the phone because i wasnt Mike.

i told them to literally, go fuck themselves and they better fix things.

so the guy talked to his manager, this was the week before this hell week mind you.

and they switched all the payments to the correct bill, told me i was all caught up, and kindly turned it back on, saying it was all set.

a week later, i was shut off again.

needless to say, it was a rough Monday. something else happened all other days of the week. it was so overwhelming, i honestly wanted to pack my bags and just start driving to Indiana. i needed my mom. i cried, almost every day this week because it was wayyy too much to handle. and here we are, only six months in, FML.

but, this week, is a shit ton better.

with switching Ryders formula, i have no more screaming baby. he only fusses when he's hungry and he's a MUCH happier baby. i guess the other formula didn't like his tummy much.

i only have ONE dog to worry about now. Holly ended up getting out, AGAIN. and i was just too exhausted to bother. we were going to find her a new home anyway, i guess she just chose to go find her own first. however, Indy seems fine with the change, if not even happier. and with just him, i can walk him and not feel guilty for leaving one or the other behind. it's just a better deal. besides, Indy was the start of our little family. Holly was just... something we picked up along the way.

i have my cable and internet turned back on!

my son is healthy, and happy, and even gained a whole pound this week.

we got some AMAZING photos to send to Mike now. he's going to love them.

through the irritation with my husband, and my crazy stupid thoughts, today, i love him more.

and those chicks are deleted and out of our lives. he did end up deleting them a few minutes into our conversation. he didn't ask why, i didn't really explain the full story in the email, just expressed how upset i was, and POOF, they were gone. her and her sister both.

i was shocked, but am so happy he chose us.

it's just the first step to change, for us and our little family.

and getting rid of the people that need nothing to do with our lives.

now, i am going to go give my tiny son a bath and snuggle with him while we write daddy letters and work on his next care package. :)

Stay Safe, Wherever You Are. 

Always, US.