Day 31; Burn In Hell, Osama Bin Laden.

Day 31; Operation Deployment.

Day 9; Baby Ryder.

5th Sunday Down.

May 1st, 2011.

Osama Bin Laden was killed by American Troops.

as the president walked up to the podium to present his speech, i grabbed Michael and I's sleeping baby son and i held him to my chest as tight as i could. staring at the screen, tears flooded my eyes.

i cried.

i cried for all those that lost their lives on September 11th, 2001.

when the Twin Towers fell down and thousands upon thousands lost their lives and their loved ones.

i cried for all the troops that fell in war ever since.

i cried for my husband, and him not being there, and me, not knowing exactly where he is, how he is, and when i will hear from him next.

i cried for all our men with my husband.

and i cried for what this means for all of us now.

the war isn't over, i believe this is the beginning of the end. and i pray for no retaliation.

and for things to get worse over there. i pray my husband won't have to leave the wire and things stay the same where he is. 

i complained to myself this morning about the lack of sleep i got. because of Ryder and Mike getting online to chat. now i would give anything for an email, or phone call, something.

to let us know that he's alright.

i have no idea what this means for our men out there. but for the first time since Michael left, i am scared for his safety.

i can't close my eyes and feel him, or smell him.

but i long for him, in every single way possible right now.

i am so numb and blank as to what may be about to come. 

all i can do is sit here and cling to Ryder.

and pray, and pray, and pray.

please everyone, pray for my husband and our little family.

and the men and women of CLB-7 in Afghanistan.

pray for their safety.

pray for their safe return.

"forever forever babe, remember, you promised?"

pinky promised and sealed with a kiss.

i miss you so much, it hurts.

i see you. <3